Stars
The very first new song that I heard that hit me hard after Ashton's diagnosis was Stars by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. The music video is embedded below followed by the lyrics. Please note that YouTube is a great medium for sharing songs online but I rarely watch the videos, just listen to the song on my phone. Music and lyrics often have individual meanings to different listeners. And I often find the videos ruin a song to me lol. This particular song also makes me miss my daddy.
One of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad that keeps coming to mind since he has passed away is him taking my sister and I in the backyard to look at the stars with the small telescope that he picked up. I am not sure what happened to the telescope. My dad also have a very nice large reference book of the Milky Way solar system. I remember looking at that book many a time during my school years. That is one of the few books of his that I would still love to have, it seemed to have disappeared after my parents moved into senior housing. During the downsizing and moving process I inherited a few other books but I was patiently waiting for the time for them to part with the solar system book lol. Oh well, guess it is severely out of date anyways since Pluto is no longer a planet and it is mostly for nostalgic reason that I really want that book, I don't even know the title of it.
When Ashton first started riding the mini bus, bus for the special education and disabled students I had a little alone time with Ashton in the morning and the regular bus that the girls rode came earlier. On the mornings with a pleasant temperature for Ashton we waited outside and I was always finding something in the sky to point out to him. The morning moon is spectacular. Often I needed to bend down to his eye level sitting in a wheelchair to point so he could notice what I was talking about. Oh, the good old days. Still love the sky that Ashton is rarely comfortable outside and misses a lot.
I lit a fire with the love you left behindAnd it burned wild and crept up the mountain side.I followed your ashes into outer spaceI can't look out the windowI can't look at this placeI can't look at the starsThey make me wonder where you areStarsUp on heaven's boulevardAnd if I know you at allI know you've gone too farSo I, I can't look at the starsAll those times we looked up at the skyLooking out so farWe felt like we could fly.And now I'm all alone in the dark of nightThe moon is shiningBut I can't see the lightAnd I can't look at theStarsThey make me wonder where you areStarsUp on heaven's boulevardAnd if I know you at allI know you've gone too farSo I, I can't look at the starsStarsStarsThey make me wonder where you areStarsUp on heaven's boulevardAnd if I know you at allI know you've gone too farSo I can't look at the stars